A dude once took me to McDonalds for valentines day, which ok not ideal but I’m broke too so whatever it would’ve been fine…had I not gotten halfway into my fries when he very suddenly made a very weird face, stood up and bolted out of the place…I thought I’d maybe said something til I stood up and realized the dude had straight up shit his pants….there was no follow up, mutual ghosting.

AG

When I was 19 I found out a friend liked me and wanted to go out. A mutual friend thought this was a great idea because she was afraid I was going to move out of state to be with another guy I was interested in. Turns out, everyone felt this way, including my mother. I was pressured by both friends and family into going on at least one date with this guy. We went to the movies and he tried to hold my hand, but I felt super guilty being there and let go after a couple minutes. For some reason we ended up with my friend and her bf at his house. So here I am with this guy while my friend and her bf make out on the other couch. We kissed awkwardly and my phone rings. He wanted me to ignore it, but I was thankful for an excuse to leave the room and I went to the bathroom to answer it. It was the guy I was actually interested in. He was confused why I had suddenly disappeared and wasn’t answering his texts like I usually did. So then I felt REALLY guilty, but also relieved he called because I could leave without getting questioned by anyone. The only downside was I had to drive the guy I’m on the date with back to his car. It’s dark out, and we’re driving through the woods when a baby raccoon runs out and I couldn’t stop in time and hit it. I’m freaking out, he’s freaking out. I wanted to get out of the car and see if it’s okay, he assures me it’s NOT okay and to just drive. Not even 5 minutes after driving again ANOTHER baby raccoon runs out and I hit THAT one too. I’m like “nope! This whole thing was a bad idea, and that proved it!” and dropped him off at his car. We obviously didn’t go on another date. As for the other guy everyone was worried about, I married him lol

MR

I took a girl to the Lakeview Square Mall, and spent almost $300 on food and gifts. She ended up stealing my sweatshirt and never talked to me again.

PB

I went on a date with this beautiful woman when I was 31. She was definitely a 10 and I was a measly 6 or 7 maybe. I mean she was drop dead gorgeous and my blood pressure went up just watching her walk! Anyways, I picked her up at her place in West Lansing and we drove to Bravo Cucina Italiana for dinner. Now, keep in mind this was our first date and I had met her through a mutual friend. So on the way there she is constantly checking her makeup and really not paying attention to the small talk I am trying to make. We parked and went inside and got a table. It was a pretty busy night and the waitstaff were running like crazy to keep up. As we place our order she ends up ordering one of the most expensive menu items you could get. Okay, a bit rude I thought but no biggie I don’t really care. As we are waiting and we are talking I am asking her about her work, does she go to school, etc. etc. She explains that she is a student and that she is studying to get her degree ( I cannot remember what it was). In the meantime she keeps checking herself in her mirror and making tiny adjustments to her hair. Finally the order arrives and we begin to eat. After we finish the meal is when the bombshell dropped. She literally looked across the table at me, made strong eye contact and said: “D, I just want to let you know that I am a beautiful woman and that I am in high demand. If you want to continue going out with me then you are going to have to help me pay my bills and keep me in the lifestyle I am accustomed to.” I think my eyes rose up incredulously and my jaw began to drop at her sheer nerve. Without missing a beat I immediately stood up and cleared my throat very loudly. I looked around and said: “Does anyone here think that this woman is a very beautiful?” As people began to look I continued: “This is our first date and she just told me that if I wanted to keep on dating her I would need to help pay her bills and keep her accustomed to the lifestyle she is used to!” At this point I think she was very mortified. I continued again by saying: “Since she is a beautiful woman and she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle then I am certain that someone here would be willing to drive her back home because I am not!” That is when still looking around I told the waiter standing there to go take the bill back and to split the meal cost. As I followed the waiter up to the station I could hear her behind me crying that I cant do that and that she didn’t bring any money to get home or pay her meal. That is when I said my final words to her: “I am sure that SOMEONE here won’t mind paying your very expensive meal and keeping you accustomed to what you deserve! Anyone? Anyone interested? No? Okay, then have a good night!” I gave the waiter my card, rang it up and walked calmly out the door while she started calling someone on the phone and crying. That is perhaps my worst first date story. I have more though if you are interested! LOL

DS

My best friend set me up with her husband’s cousin. Will call him TM and I met him at his aunt and uncle’s house. This is where the “fun” began. He drank a pint of Irish Scotch in his coffee then he took me to a restaurant for dinner. We got seated and when the server took our drink order he ordered a bottle of red wine, Scotch on the rocks, and two appetizers and looked at me and said, “what are you going to have?” Not only was I confused, but so was the server. I ordered an appetizer and TM asked me “what are you having to drink?” I thought the bottle of wine was for both of us, but it wasn’t. I ordered a glass of red wine. I don’t really remember what we talked about I just remember he could not stop talking about himself and I was in shock because TM would not share his two appetizers nor his bottle of wine with me. By the end of dinner, TM drank two Scotches on the rocks. a bottle of wine, ate both appetizers and his meal. After dinner we went back to TM’s aunt and uncle’s house. He wanted to go hot tubbing. He opened a bottle of champagne where I had one glass because he was drinking it like he hadn’t had a drink all day. After the hot tub and because it was cold out he offer me a hot chocolate where he put Irish Scotch and Bailey’s in his hot chocolate and by the way, he had two hot chocolates. I spent the whole night listening to TM talk about himself and drinking more alcohol then a frat boy. As I said, goodbye to him he was opening another pint of Irish Scotch. Not only did TM show that he had a drinking problem, but he showed me just how selfish he was. Little to say, my best friend heard all about it the next day and was NEVER allowed to set me up for a date ever again. I never did call TM back for another date. He had no clue on what women want nor did he act liked he cared!

MD

A guy who was cool to hang out with, asked me to go on a date. He came and picked me up and drove us to the cemetery to have sex. After he realized I was getting uncomfortable, he took off out of the cemetery in a quick hurry. Needless I never saw him in public ever again

SS

I lived out in MA and dated a guy named M. Years had passed when we reconnected on FB. We couldn’t believe we had found each other again; this truly was too good to be true. M drove out to Mi to see me. He said he would meet me Battle Creek (where I lived ) & then we would drive back to MA together. NYs eve was the day after he arrived. We headed up to GR to see Good Charlotte & rented a hotel room so we could celebrate. I couldn’t believe I would soon be seeing all of my friends out east again! After the concert, we crashed out in the hotel room. I woke up around 9am & saw M in the bathroom. I asked why he was up so early. He said he was going to get some gas; he’d be right back. When I woke up again, M was gone. A text message read; “sorry, I just couldn’t take you with me.” I looked at the clock. It was almost noon on NYs day; check out time. I was an hour away from home with no car & I knew no one.

RP

Right after I turned 18, my mother decided it would be a great idea to set me up on a blind date. To a total stranger. Without telling me first. So this guy, a very large, and kinda dirty, man showed up and my mom made me leave with this person who I didn’t know, and who had to be in his late 20’s, maybe 30’s. So I’m already terrified, but this guy, I’ll call him Tim, seemed really nice. He took me to Taco Bell for a delicious meal before taking me to the movies. I was enthralled. Not really. So we finish up there and we’re at the cinema, full on a Saturday afternoon with my peers and their dates. Tim decides we MUST play Mortal Kombat to kill time, but I didn’t know how to play. He pretty much demanded I play against him, which annoyed me so I just hit every button on the console as fast as I could and I KICKED HIS ASS. He grumbled something about beginners luck and we played again. Again, I beat him soundly. And that’s when he towered over me and literally screamed at me from the top of his lungs: YOU LIKE BEATING ME AND SHOWING ME UP IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?!? Welll….. I had eaten at Taco Bell, and he literally scared the shit out of me. He LITERALLY SCARED THE SHIT. OUT. OF. ME. In front of all my friends. That I had to see again on Monday. Worst date ever.

MM

When I was 16 my BFF’s boyfriend set me up with a buddy of his. Friday night comes along and this guy is clearly way older than me but I thought what the Hell. Red flag he had a van you know the kind with the carpeting and the dingleberry curtains…and a picture of a girl in a heart frame on the console. We have some small talk and he busts out with some vodka and a doobie. I’m thinking this may not be so bad after all. Finally I ask who the girl in the frame is and he says his sister. Right….might as well get a free buzz. One thing leads to another and he puts the moves on me and convinced me to move back to the old stabbin cabin. I lay down on my belly and he is rubbing my back well, I got the spins and barfed all over the carpet! He is instantly pissed! Yells at me and says how am I going to explain this to my wife??? Get out!! So he opens the sliding door and rolls me out and squawks out leaving me drunk, shoeless and lost. So I started walking down this dark country road before cell phones. Luckily after a couple of miles a car pulled up and stopped. It turned out it was my BFF on her way home from her date. She ended up taking me home and the next day breaking up with her boyfriend for hooking me up with such a dick and a married old pervert.

LL

Some would say this was more of a bar night, but it was prearranged, so we’ll call it a date. Once upon a summer – multiple summers, actually – I worked at a recreational facility up north. We had go-karts, mini golf, batting cages, and all sorts of other stuff. (This isn’t a plug, so I’ll skip the particulars.) On a particularly hot Friday afternoon (90+), a co-worker’s lady friend (he had a couple, so I don’t know that it’s appropriate to call her a girlfriend) stops in with one of her friends. We’ve met a couple times and have always stuck up conversation with each other. Lots of laughing, lots of flirting. (Without going into details, I’ll simply say I found her attractive.) The four of us shoot the breeze in the shade for a while. It’s a solid fifteen minutes of talking about nothing in particular before the loudspeaker calls for go-karts. As my co-worker and I stand up to leave, the friend invites me out – then extends the invitation to the group. She tends bar at a local dive and they have a halfway-decent cover band that night. She figures the place will empty out by 11:30, leaving plenty of time for us to hang out, then head elsewhere. We say we’ll head over after closing and cleanup. We all arrive at the bar about 10:15. The place is empty, save two regulars. The band is… not great. It’s quiet enough that the three of us are able to belly-up to the bar and talk. Save the girl – we’ll call her my date for simplicity’s same – having to take drinks to the handful of folks that come and go, she and I are able to talk. Lots of laughing, lots of flirting. The place empties out about 11:45. It’s not yet midnight and she gets approval to shut down, but keeps the bar open for the four of us as she cleans up. We finally start to head out about 12:30 – and my date decides to buy a round of double Jägerbombs. I don’t drink Jäger or Red Bull and neither does my co-worker’s lady friend, so… my date and my co-worker both do two Jägerbombs. We leave. My co-worker’s lady friend is driving him home. I ask my date if she wants a ride. (Relax, I’m 6’7″, 260 lbs, and I’ve had three pints in about two-and-a-half hours.) She says no, as she lives about three blocks away – and asks me to walk her home. Naturally, I agree to do so. More chatting and flirting ensures. When we get to her double-wide, she kisses me and asks me to come in for coffee. Inside, she makes two Jack and Cokes. We sit on the couch for a bit. She downs her drink and helps herself to about half of mine. Then she turns the light off and asks if I want to see something cool. I say, “Absolutely.” She gets up and takes a blanket of a big tank, then switches on a red light/heat lamp. She reaches in – and pulls out a five-foot ball python. She sits back down with the snake and proceeds to share random facts about it, letting it slither up and down and around her arms. “I’ve had Alice for 12 years. Alice is fine with me, but she doesn’t like strangers. It’s been a week since Alice ate.” So on and so forth. When Alice disappears into her shirt sleeve, my date simply removes it. She then jumps up and puts the snake on my shoulders – and I have no idea how to react or what to say. Before I’m able to process that I have a giant serpent on me, she stands up and leaves. She comes back shortly, carrying a long, flat case. She sets it on the tray next to the couch and proceeds to show me… her knife collection. So… I’m feeling pretty uncomfortable at this point. It’s very warm. I’m sweating. The jokes have dried up. There’s no flirting. My mouth is dry. The room is red. I have a giant snake just sitting on me, not moving. I can’t bring myself to move. My date doesn’t acknowledge me or the snake, she just starts pulling out knives, one at a time, showing me the blades and handles, not saying much of anything. She locks her eyes on mine and runs the spine of a large knife over the snake’s back. She puts the knife in her mouth and moves the snake – before she suddenly takes the knife and cuts the top three buttons off of my shirt. I jump and the snake shifts, sliding right down my neck and chest into my shirt. Before I can yell, she presses the butt of the knife against my lips and shushes me. She takes the knife and keeps cutting buttons, but she doesn’t stop when they’re gone. She opens up my shirt and cuts off my belt. I’m confused and, sure, a bit aroused – but I’m petrified. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here… and then I feel the snake slither up my shorts. This time I do yell. My date again puts the knife to my lips, then to hers, then says, “Where Alice goes, I go.” She gets down on the floor… and promptly passes out in my lap. It took about five minutes to untangle myself and gently shake the snake out of my short leg. I put Alice back in her box, make sure my date is all right on her couch, then leave. I saw her here and there a couple times after. There was never another date (or bar night).

PD

I met a guy off of a dating site and though we did seem to click, our schedules and lives really worked against us, we however did stay friends and he got into a relationship. They were together for a year when they split… he was single for about 6 months and he messaged me asking if I’ve be willing to try things again, he was a good guy and I thought it would be great.. So we met up at a bar that I knew very well and as soon as we sat down the red flags started flying. He right off the bat ordered 5 shots of bottom of the bottom shelf tequila , and then went on a 40 minute rant about his ex and how much he missed her… I was already very uncomfortable at this point and it didn’t get any better. He then proceeded to tell me that he knew their relationship was really over when her got home one day and she have taken all of their sex toys…then he started crying for 20 minutes … Not only the worst date I’ve been on, but also the most uncomfortable if ever felt before.

HT

In my late twenties, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. This date was truly the worst I’ve ever been on. It started out with us enjoying a meal at an Italian restaurant and ended with me feigning a call from a relative to quickly escape after he decides to share details on why his last relationship ended. It ended due to a porn addiction and for some reason, my date felt that despite just meeting me, that it was ok to share this information. Worst date ever. Lol. I couldn’t leave fast enough!

DC

I went on date number 1 with Justin that I had met on a dating site. It went ok so onto date number 2. The plan was to meet at his house in Alma and take his dog for a walk in the nearby park. So I met him at his house in Alma. He had a 140 pound American Bulldog. I thought he was cute when I saw photos. I decided to wear my brand new navy blue anchor logo shorts. I walked into his house and met his dog. He gave me a house tour. To get better acquainted with his dog he wanted me to feed him a milk bone. So I did and that went well. I waited in the kitchen while he switched his laundry over. I looked out the kitchen window when all of a sudden I felt this clamp on my left butt cheek. I tried not to freak out! This was a large muscular dog with jaws locked onto my butt! Justin walked upstairs and he helped get his dog to release his giant jaws from my butt. Finally, Justin opened his jaw, one of his teeth snagged my brand new shorts and ripped my shorts in half. He told me don’t be afraid of my dog. I then got into my car to head home and I told him he should replace my new shorts and he said you didn’t really like them anyway did you? So I left with my shorts ripped in half. My butt had a bruise from his dog biting my butt for weeks. Never spoke to him again.

NB