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Western Michigan's Coach instituting new 'traditions' for Bronco football.

by Jon Henseler

Listen I don't know what this coach's name is, what his record is or where he came from. I just know this; 4:07 ago I couldn't have cared less about Bronco football* and 4:07 later I'm about as big a Bronco fan as there is. Just can't hate this guy's hustle. Is Western Michigan a college football powerhouse? For sure not. But this dude is doing what he can to at least make the atmosphere better. It's like when I was preparing my resume for job interviews after college and glossed over some key details. Was my GPA outstanding? No. So what did I do? Simply said I 'earned' my bachelor's degree. Do I have an special skills? Nope! So what did I do? I just deleted that section entirely. Did I have glowing references? Negatory. So I put fictional businesses and paid my buddies in beer to answer their phones and say 'Vandalay Industries.' We're in latex. Put that resume on some high gloss paper and bingo bango you've got yourself a qualified candidate. Same deal with Western Michigan. Sure they're barley a .500 team in the last 15 years. But we've got DJ Illmix! We've got Metallica for 3rd downs! We've got new age Row Row Row Your Boat the Remix! Some people say it's all about the substance and not the fluff. Me and this guy from Western Michigan say that when you have no substance, fluff is a way of life.

*Unless I had money on them. But only a true degenerate would be betting on Mid American Conference games right? Right?! Hahahahaha, ahhhhhhhhhhh. Help me.

PS: Apparently a spelling 'defense' 'defence' is a new tradition too. Larry Sanders' tattoo artist is impressed.

Double PS: Second favorite part of the video is where he goes 'I know a lot of you are Red Wings fans and thus hate Chelsea Dagger, but I'm a Blackhawks fan and we're playing it.' Power move. No better way to establish power other than maybe establishing Prima Nocte.