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Lawsuit against Ryan Braun getting personal

by Jon Henseler

So in case you missed it amid the Biogenesis scandal, the 65 game suspension and Dino Laurenzi overcooking Uncle Leo's hamburger while decapitating a goat in order to reverse the Cubs fortunes, now one of Ryan Braun's college friends has filed a defamation suit against him. Apparently Braun and his legal team contacted one of his buddies, Ralph Sasson, who is also a law student, to dig up dirt on Dino Laurenzi that eventually led to the overturn of his suspension in early 2012. It sounds like Braun and company agreed to pay him $5,000 to do this but never did. Then Sasson got his Stewie Griffin 'you got money for fake mustaches' on and eventual Braun paid him but 'defamed' him to some of their mutual friends. 

So now Sasson is suing Braun and is essentially pulling a Frank Costanza airing of grievances about a LOT of things Braun was apparently caught up in during the course their friendship. Sasson is accusing Braun of using PEDs in school, accepting payments from boosters during his time playing baseball for The U, academic misconduct, and allegedly cheating on his now fiance, Larisa Fraser. Now obviously the biggest scarlet letter would be the PED use in college. It basically sets him up as a lifelong user and puts EVERYTHING he has done in substantial doubt. The academic misconduct and accepting payments from boosters, cheating on his girlfriend all fall under 'whatever' to me. Academic misconduct is a way of life at Miami. They are to proper academic conduct what Jay Cutler is to toughness. Accepting cash from boosters is a way of life at major universities and honestly so is cheating on your significant other when you're a high profile athlete. It may be sad, but as Walter Cronkite would say, that's the way it is. Granted Larisa Frasor is like a hotter version of Megan Fox so it is somewhat hard to understand from my perspective, but I'm a degenerate blogger and Braun is/was a HOF athlete and I'm guessing his 'opportunities' with smokeshow women were slightly higher than mine. Hard to imagine I know.

I guess at this point I'm not sure how much more of a hit Ryan Braun can take in terms of his image, but what I can't understand is why he wouldn't just pay him the 5 G's and be done with it? Like, dude, you signed a 100 million dollar contract. 5 grand is ashtray money. You're baseball Heisenberg. Just pay him and be on your way. Not to mention why would you screw around with not paying a guy who knows this much about you. Everybody knows you don't screw around with payments to people who know secrets about you. One of the many downfalls of having close friends. They know too much about your personal life. And they ask you to help them move. That sucks too. 

PS: Bartenders you've got to watch out for too. My buddies and I went to the same bar in Point for years and every night it was the same bartender, Boos. Boos knows more dirt on my than anyone on Earth. Like we haven't talked in years, but if he contacted me tomorrow asking for money I'd send it so quick it would make your head spin. Hell he could ask for monthly payments to keep quiet and I'd probably comply. Just put in on the Strange Brew company credit card (dad's credit card) and write it off later.