Bryce Harper is a recent addition to the Washington Nationals Major League Baseball Team. He was called up from the minor leagues less than a week ago to take his place as one of the youngest major leaguers ever.

And his hair is friggin' ridiculous.

So I'm gonna make fun of it by calling it names cuz I'm mature.

The Hair Fart

The Mutant Mullet

The Mistake

The Misguided Mop

The Broken Brainpiece

Failure, Squared

The Hairdresser's Lawsuit

The Deep Tissue Scrape