1)

I met your sister this weekend

2)

Nothing wrong with sweating....as long as it's because you work out a lot

3)

Very sexy....but what am I supposed to wear to work?

4)

Her name must be Mary or Meagan or Marva

5)

I like strippers because sparkles

6)

That's the same look confused dogs give me

7)

...And it doubles as a Starbucks uniform!