When I was living in Los Angeles I spent a ton of time in karaoke bars. Why? Because 90% of the time there was a bachelorette party there and girls in L.A. are all killer hot. Plus they serve booze. Do the math. One night I was at a place in the valley with a group of friends. They all decided to head to some dudes apartment for a while. I was hitting on a chick at the bar and didn't feel like ditching that to sit in an apartment with a bunch of dudes so I stayed behind. (It worked out by the way. The same chick was with me in my Corey Feldman story)

When they came back to pick me up they brought DJ Qualls with them. Who the hell is that? He's this guy:

The strange skinny dude from Road Trip and The New Guy. Apparently he's pretty tight with one of the dudes I was hanging out with and they had all been getting high at the guys apartment. DJ immediatly offered to buy me and everyone else a round saying "I'm rich. I can afford it" I remember this because I thought to myself "How rich can you be? Until you introduced yourself I didn't even know what your name was."
He kept buying rounds, and eventually started telling us stories. First he says that he's gay. This I can believe. Then he tells us he has hooked up with famous closeted celebrities such as Colin Farrell and Christian Bale. This I did NOT believe. Even if those guys WERE gay, I doubt they would be seeking out this dude for hot gay action. (Side note: I think it is hilarious that after that last sentence my blog will probably come up in a google search for the term "Hot Gay Action")

I'll pause at this point in the story to clear something up. I know that your first thought when I said he was gay is that he was buying drinks to hit on us. I'm pretty sure that was not the case. Not every gay dude is trying to hit on you. Even if he was I would have been cool with it because chicks have guys they never plan on sleeping with buy them drinks all the time. Why shouldn't I get free drinks from some poor sucker the same way?

You may also be asking "Did he sing? It was a karaoke bar after all." He did. Sadly I was outside making out with the chick when it happened so I have no idea what he sang.
I never saw him again after that. Maybe he died. Who knows?



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