Halloween is finished.  All the porch lights are off (which seems a little dangerous by the way) The kids are back at home with their stash.  I don't have kids, but I started wondering if people are still giving out the same crappy "Treats" they did when I was a kid.  Here are a few I remember.  Let me know if any of them are still around this year.

The guy who gives you spare change:  These are children! Not homeless people!  This dude probably ran out of candy and figures "Who doesn't love money"  I'll tell you who.  An 8 year old who just got 16 cents in pennies.  You know what you can buy with 16 cents?  One raw egg.  Do the math.

The old lady who made caramel apples:  She spent all weekend buying the apples, putting the sitcks in and melting the caramel.  The only thing she didn't stop to think about is the fact that this is not 1952!  No decent parent is going to let their kid eat a homemade snack from a strangers house!  All the time and love you put into these are going right into the trash.

The person that put popcorn into sandwich bags:  Really?  Come on!

The guy who put on a werewolf mask and chased kids off his porch:  I never knew what this guy was giving out because he would always chase you off.  Real funny %$&hole!  I'm 3!  Give me a &*^%ing break man!

The unattended "take one" Bowl:  I think we all know how this one ends.  Also what if it says "Take One" but the bowl is filled with "Take 5" candy bars?  Kids are confused enough as it is.

-Parker