I recently was emailed some instructions to make Paper Lions. Tiny little Lion's players that you can put on your desk, sleep with (NOT IN THAT WAY), or use as a hood ornament. They are from the Detroit Free Press and can be found here.  This is what they look like

Matthew Stafford CHECK
Calvin Johnson CHECK
Ndamukong Suh CHECK
Jason Hanson WHAT!! NO JASON HANSON!?!?!?!

How could the creators of such great items forget the greats Lion of the past, present, and future: #4 Jason Hanson!?!?  I think the NFL should just give the Lion’s three points every time the ball touches his foot.  HERESY I CRY!  Like most people of my age range, I went to the Internet and posted an angry comment.

Wait what?  When I complain on the Internet I get what I want?  I will remember this for the next time my Craiglist date turns out to be a dude.  Well I waited until nightfall to create the most perfect paper Lion.

There he is; Paper Jason Hanson.  Though tiny, Paper Jason Hanson can still kick 60 yard field goal and steal your girlfirend at the same time  After I created Paper Jason Hanson we went off for adventures.

I first let him on the air which is a very bad idea because all he wanted to talk about was kicking field goals.  I told him that you can only talk about the fine subtle art of the field goal kicking for 2 hours. Upon hearing this Paper Jason Hanson kicked me in the knee.  I still limp to this day.

After that we stopped for taco’s because a hour of broadcasting gives you a mighty hunger. Jason Hason ate 18.  Paper Jason Hanson calls Taco's "field goal kicking fuel".

After that we played several games of Halo.  Paper Jason Hanson totally pwned me.

Paper Jason Hanson then got out his phone and called his pals Paper Ndamukong Suh and Batman.  The four of us painted the town red.  Kegs were tapped, Trash can mysteriously disappeared, and hearts were broken.  Those guys picked up 3 chicks each and I got tazed.

And of course he kicked several 60 yard field goals on my desk.

Over all I have created a lifelong friend.  As long as Jason Hanson gives me some of his leftovers Sunday morning we will be fine.

If you want to create your own Paper Lion click the link here.  I hope you make a friend like I did.  Though I wouldn’t let Paper Jason Hanson near his teammates.  They might rise up against you under Paper Jason Hanson’s superior leadership.

Credit - The Detroit Free Press